Tuesday, May 24, 2011


2011 has not been my year.  In fact, I'd happily zoom right back to 2010 anytime!

Not long after my dad passed away, I had another traumatic emotional blow.  Without going into too much detail, my husband and I have decided to separate and move back to our hometown.  He made a mistake (Oh boy did he make a big mistake), got caught, got in trouble, and is now dealing with the consequences (legally, financially, and personally).  Unfortunately, that means that I am also dealing with the fallout of his mistake.  Victimless crime?  yeah...no not really.

Hurt, confusion, hurt, anger, hurt...

Despite his mistake, I still love him.  The problem is I'm not sure that I can trust him I don't trust him right now.  How can we have a sound relationship without trust? 

I'm not ready to give up on my marriage.  Despite the pushing encouragement insistance of many of my friends and family, I don't want a divorce if it can be helped.  I still love my husband.  Because what has happened has become public knowledge, so many people are assuming and expecting that I will leave him. 

Although I love him, I'm not an idiot either.  Forgiving him for his mistakes does not mean that I am OK with what he has done.  I know that he made a mistake (yes, it was a mistake...although a HUGE one) and that he will need to "fix" things, get counseling, and face the consequences. It is possible that our marriage won't make it, but I have faith that God put us together for a reason.

We are both moving back to our hometown.  He has moved in with his parents, and my mom is helping me to get a house for my daughter and I.  We will be close to family, and although we will be separated, we will be close enough to try to begin working on our marriage as well.

If you are a praying person...Please... my family needs prayers.


Elizabeth said...

Oh Nicole... so sorry to hear this. I had wondered if things were all right when you didn't keep posting. Your positive attitude and desire to honor God and love your husband are an encouragement and to be admired in the midst of your hurt, pain, and confusion. Know that I will be praying for you... and for your family.

jon said...

It is his job to earn your trust back.
Remember life is a "marathon" not a sprint.

Cole said...

Thanks Elizabeth and Jon. :)